28 states in the United States have legalized medical marijuana and two have voted to legalize recreational marijuana. The number of celebrities and public personalities speaking against Marijuana prohibition increases each day. But drug testing policies at workplaces continue to be governed by antiquated laws that can leave you without a job even if you are a casual smoker who enjoys a joint every weekend.
Despite the increasing number of people who wish to enjoy marijuana recreationally, there seems to be no respite to these laws. The point here is, does smoking an occasional joint make you more prone to injury or affect your productivity at workplace as it is often made out to be?
Nopes. It doesn’t. And that’s not hearsay for you. It comes from years of personal experience.
I have been smoking marijuana for years now without allowing it to consume the better part of my life. I am not a dope head nor have graduated to greener turf.
My father suffered from Multiple Sclerosis for years and medical marijuana helped him in ways that I cannot express here.
The thing that should interest you more is that I have cleared 19 pre-employment drug screenings in my life( 15 with fake pee for drug test) so far and not once have traces of marijuana been detected in my urine or hair.
What gives? It’s simple. If you find the system is unfair to you, you just find a workaround as I did.
I have helped a number of my friends and even strangers to pass urine drug tests. So much so that today, I am an administrator on multiple marijuana user communities on the internet. In this article, I am going to cover the bases of how you can beat one of the most commonly used drug tests by employers, the urine test.
Cleansing drinks and cheap detox pills on amazon
Before we venture into more details, let me explain to you a few things about cheap 10-20$ marijuana cleansing drinks because if you are here and reading this about beating drug tests, chances are that you may definitely have read on an online forum or seen an advertisement about how effective are these cleansing drinks, in flushing out traces of marijuana from your body.
Guess what? Most of them doesn’t work!
I have tried some of the most popular detox drinks and pills brands that manage to garner eyeballs with aggressive marketing techniques. That includes Qcarbo and Stinger Detox drink and of course the Certo (Sure Jell) method. None of these much-hyped products and techniques are 100% safe. Thankfully, I had the common sense to try these with a home drug test rather than using it on a real pre-employment drug test.
In fact, that’s how I have tested most of the products in the market.
Only when I was completely convinced that a product was the real deal would it be put to the test in a real life scenario. And that has helped immensely. Guys, do not buy cheap, low quality detox products in your local headshops or on amazon. They are not safe at all!
What has worked immaculately almost every single time is synthetic urine or fake pee for drug tests. It is easy to use, is almost foolproof if you know how to use it and is readily available even on a short notice. The best part, you do not have to gulp down colored synthetic liquids ‘hoping’ that it would work.
What is synthetic urine?
Synthetic urine is what the name suggests. It is fake pee for drug test that is manufactured for use in certain applications that demand it. For example, for testing the effectiveness of diapers by manufacturers or for calibrating equipment used for urine tests. Another supposed use for fake urine? Fetish porn! Err…yeah!
However, it is more widely used by pot users as a substitute for their urine samples during a drug test. I will explain how it works.
If I were to show you real urine and fake pee for drug tests in two bottles, you wouldn’t be able to tell the real one and the fake ones apart. It has the same smell, color, texture, organic ingredients that include urea, uric acid, creatinine and metabolites.
If you have an unsupervised drug test, switch your urine with synthetic urine and you will clear the test like a cakewalk.
Why can’t I just borrow clean pee from my friend who doesn’t use weed?
Why would you even want to try that when you have a much better and foolproof option with synthetic urine? Despite your friend assuring you that his urine is clean, there is always the possibility of it being contaminated with traces of drug metabolites. And then, there is the perpetual risk of urine temperature mismatch which can lead to the sample being disqualified immediately.
Not worth the risk.
Can fake pee for drug test be used for all types of tests?
No. It can’t. It can only be used for an unsupervised lab test when the lab assistant does not watch you pee into the bottle. In a supervised lab test, this is called ‘Watching the sample collection’ and it is mandatory in some laboratories.
The only way to ensure that you can or cannot use fake pee for drug test is to do some research about the laboratory that does the tests. Do they supervise the urine collection process? Are they hard-asses about rules?
The most important thing that you’d want to know is whether they allow you to get into a bathroom cubicle to pee. If that is allowed then you can easily switch the sample with fake urine that will be hidden somewhere in your clothing.
The other critical thing is to know whether it is mandatory to wear a hospital robe during the collection process. This may require you to strip down making it nearly impossible to hide the bottle on your body.
In case of a supervised drug test, you can use the Whizzinator.
What is the Whizzinator?
The Whizzinator is a synthetic urine belt with fake penis that can be attached to your waist and concealed in your underwear. It dispenses a synthetic urine solution when squeezed and from a reasonable distance, is impossible to detect. Many pot users have used the device to make it appear to the supervisor that they are actually peeing into the sample collection bottle.
It is incredibly easy to wear and is available in a plethora of colors allowing you to pick the one that is the closest match to your body type. One of the reasons why the Whizzinator is so effective is because it is so realistically designed.
Whizzinator for sale
The package includes everything you need to successfully clear a supervised drug test. In addition to the prosthetic penis, it also contains a heating pad and synthetic urine belt. The heating pad allows you to get the temperature of the synthetic urine to a precise 94 °F and 100 °F. The Whizzinator is on sale now, its only 135$. Check out whizzinators.com for more info.
Does the whizzinator work?
I have used the Whizzinator twice and it wasn’t detected on both occasions. So I can vouch for the effectiveness of the device myself.
The Synthetic Urine FAQ
Using fake pee for drug test comes across as a straight forward process for someone who’s done this a few times. But for the first timer, it may seem like a daunting task that is riddled with the possibility of being detected. I am sure you will also have your doubts, especially if this is the first time that you are doing this. Here are the answers to some of the common questions that I am asked by noobs.
Does synthetic urine work?
You bet it does. It is one of the safest and tested methods to clear a urine drug test for a pre-employment screening. The only thing that you need to ensure is that it is an unsupervised drug test and which brand of synthetic urine to use.
The other extremely critical aspect is that the temperature of the urine must be an exact match to that of the urine excreted from the human body. The precise temperature is 94°F to 96°F. The tricky part is that the temperature must be between 94°F to 100°F when it enters the sample collection bottle. The bottle has a digital thermometer that will record the temperature. If the temperature is below 94°F or more than 100°F, then the lab will reject your sample.
But maintaining this temperature is easier than it sounds. All it takes is some practice with a bottle warmer.
How to keep urine warm?
There are multiple ways to maintain the temperature of the synthetic urine.
- The easiest way is to nuke the bottle in a microwave oven to one or two degrees more than the desired temperature. This should be done ten to fifteen minutes before you are scheduled to submit the sample so that the temperature of the bottle can be maintained until you reach the lab.
- Hand warmers can be used after you microwave the bottle to maintain the temperature until you reach the lab.
- Some folks have used body temperature to maintain the temperature of the fake pee. You just attach the bottle on the body using a strap. Ideal locations are the crotch, near the armpits or in your bra for the ladies.
- Sub Solution, which is the best synthetic urine, comes with heat activator so you don’t have to mess with heat pads or microwave.
Where to buy synthetic urine?
I have always ordered by synthetic urine online. You get better pricing than buying it off a drugstore, the transaction is discreet and they usually ship in a day.
How much fake pee is needed for a drug test?
The DHHS standard sample size is 2oz. And if you cannot pee more than 2oz, then the lab has no right to ask you for more. A typical synthetic urine bottle is 3-5 ounces which is more than what you will need. If you have a 5oz bottle, just empty half of it into the urine collection bottle and submit it.
As I mentioned earlier, your chances of success depends entirely on the quality of the synthetic urine that you submit. There are some brands of fake pee for drug test which are notorious for being poor quality but continue to thrive due to unscrupulous marketing techniques. Here’s a brief guide to some of the top synthetic urine brands and my experiences with them.
Synthetic urine reviews:
U Pass synthetic urine: With a not-so-good reputation among the community, UPass is one of the brands that I never tried myself. Let’s say I thought it would be better not to waste my hard earned money on something that is famous for being ineffective. Can you believe that there are no instructions included in the package when you buy it? The only possible reason why someone would want to opt for U Pass synthetic urine is if they are cash strapped and don’t really care whether they pass the test or not.
Magnum: is another one of those brands that are all over the place with their hyperactive marketing techniques. Their Synthetic urine reviews have another story to say though. There are tons of negative reviews all over online forums due to obvious reasons. It doesn’t work. People have failed their drug tests using it. The only advantage that I can see is that you can walk into a smoke shop and grab a bottle. So if you are desperate and on short notice, then you can consider choosing Magnum synthetic urine. Else, there are tons of better options at hand.
P-Sure: It is actually funny how a brand like P-Sure still sells in the market. They supply one of the most unreliable thermometers in their kit that is almost guaranteed to get your urine sample busted. But here they are. Advertising the shit out on the internet and in retail stores thanks to fake synthetic urine reviews. The word is that it doesn’t smell like real urine either. If I were you, I wouldn’t even think of buying one for a pre-emp screening. X Stream synthetic urine and Agent X are both the same, avoid them at all costs.
Monkey Whizz: I have heard good things about Monkey Whizz but am yet to use it personally. A couple of guys on the forum claim to have used it and cleared tests. Now, these are guys that I can trust. So, I suppose that the product may be for real. It is said to be immaculately designed with color, odor and chemical composition matching real urine to the T. There have been a couple of instances where the heat pad didn’t work as expected. But that’s just about it. There are a lot of positive reviews too for Monkey Whizz.
There are two brands that I consider the best synthetic urine brands. I can vouch for their reliability and safety. Most of my friends also use one of these two brands and there are tons of positive synthetic urine reviews about them on the internet.
Spectrum labs Quick Fix synthetic urine: Quick Fix is one of the Best synthetic urine brands that has a flawless composition which makes it almost impossible to detect. Everything from the pH to the creatinine and the urea in the liquid is perfectly balanced. I have used Quick Fix twice. I cleared the test on both occasions. The package includes a bottle of fake pee, a heat pack and a temperature strip. To prepare the synthetic urine, just microwave the bottle for 10 seconds and use the heat pack to ensure that the temperature is maintained until you reach the lab. Quick Fix plus contains uric acid which is a must in 2016. You can buy Quick Fix HERE.
Despite its reputation and the perfect composition, I did find a few nits to pick even with Quick Fix. I will explain what those are in a bit. For now, here’s my review of the best synthetic urine that you can buy without a second thought.
#1 – The best synthetic urine – Clear Choice Sub Solution
No other fake pee for drug tests comes with a 200% money back guarantee. Clear Choice Sub Solution not only backs up their product with such a guarantee, it also comes with almost 13 years of proven performance behind it. But my reason for rating Sub Solution as the #1 synthetic urine brand goes beyond the company’s track record.
It is one of the easiest products to use. Unlike typical synthetic urine brands, you do not need to nuke the bottle or use a warming pad. The package includes a heat activator which will automatically hike the temperature of the urine to the precise level in seconds. So, after you reach the lab or approximately 20 seconds before you are about to submit the sample, just use the heat activator and the sample will be an exact 98F when it enters the collection bottle. It retains the temperature for approximately 20 minutes which is more than sufficient for you to reach the lab.
In the rare event that the temperature drops a tad, you can just add some more heat activator. That’s it. Secondly, Sub solution synthetic urine smells, looks and froths exactly like piss.
The urine formula is the best ones in the industry. They use 13 chemical and organic compounds which are not even tested in a standard drug test. But it is there nevertheless which assures you that you are buying the best fake pee for drug test.
If you prefer a more conventional kit, are ok with microwaving the bottle, using a heat pad and constantly checking the temperature until you reach the lab, then Quick Fix synthetic urine is a great choice too. But Sub Solution is ridiculously easy to use. Almost a no-brainer that can be heated anytime in a jiffy. Considering the ease of use and the positive customer reviews, I have never considered any other brand of synthetic urine for my personal use. It is the best synthetic urine with uric acid. You can buy Sub Solution from their official website.
If you are serious about clearing the test and landing the job, then you would not want to cut corners with the best synthetic urine brand that you choose. Go for sub solution. It may be slightly more expensive than some of the other brands. But you can be rest assured that you will clear the test no matter what provided you follow the instructions.
Detox Options for supervised drug tests
Supervised drug tests are a real pain in the ass. But sometimes, there is no way around it and you have to face it. In such a scenario, you have two options detoxing your body or masking THC with detox drinks. Depending on how frequently you use pot, you may be able to completely remove all traces of THC from your system in approximately 30 days. But if you are short of time, then you can try one of the detox drinks that I will mention here.
‘But aren’t detox drinks ineffective?’
Most of them are. But there are a couple which I have used with good success. The most recent example being last week when I had to appear for a drug test without any prior intimation about it. I got the email two days before the test and some quick background checks revealed that the lab was one of those places where the creepy attendant would stand six inches away from you until your entire pelvic portion was revealed making it impossible to use the Whizzinator.
I used a detox drink called Mega Clean.
Mega Clean is designed for people who weigh more than 200 lbs. and smoke a lot. I don’t smoke a lot. But I have been doing it almost every day for the past two months. Also I am 6’3 and 245 lbs.
So, I wanted something that would be able to mask the toxins in my urine for at least the time frame for the test. I passed the urine drug test and landed the job.
If your profile doesn’t match the typical pot user that Mega Clean is intended for, you can try XXtra Clean which is an alternative detox drink from the same company that manufactures Mega Clean. Jim, my buddy who weighs 165 and smokes once a week uses it and swears by the performance of the drink.
Along with tons of emails which appreciate the information that I am providing here, I have also received a few hate mails that have called me a junkie and someone trying to game the system. Well, if looking out for my interests make me one, then so be it. I hate using fake pee for drug tests as much as you do. But in all fairness, being denied a job for enjoying a joint once in a while isn’t fair either. And until Marijuana laws or employment drug tests are relaxed, this is the only way to earn a decent living without sacrificing on our personal interests.
I would love to hear your success stories. Feel free to share them in the comments section.